Thank you for allowing me to put that case..which may enlighten some of our friends here!
Dear friend! From your statements I could figure out her problems to certain level. She might have been an “OCD” patient only, if she cleans up the floor, utensils or her hands & parts as often. This cleaning habit comes mostly for the patients who feel some guilt buried in to their sub-conscious mind. And the event or things caused the so-called guilt may not be worth considering, through the perception of the society.
But for them, in your case the lady who seems to be childish in nature, might be hurting one for her. And the Iron deficiency, your 3rd point, does not ever make the people to behave strangely and suspecting the dear friends as the “under cover police officers” either. Iron deficiency causes only the biological symptoms and never such psychological disorders. And your 8th point clearly says that she had severely suffered and affected by the unfriendly and prejudiced people in the past. The problem with this kind of OCD people is, they would not be amicable with others and they usually lacking the sociability.
They are childish in their mental growth to at least some degree due to the depression formed in the child hood days by the parents, teachers or the society. They might have seen or experienced some indigestible events in their earlier periods, which should have caused unbearable pain and an irreparable loss to their Sub-conscious mind. One thing is for sure, she is badly in need of a good hear-ted being to unburden herself. But at the same time from your 5th point it is subtle, that due to her inferiority complex instead of revealing it openly to you that how much you need to her, she goes in reversible way that she need not meet you and continue to be your friend. Rather she can go and get a nicer person than your self!! Her psychological expectation is that you should tell her that you could never survive without her companionship so that she could have some grip on this life and meaning to live on with you a good friend!.
At the same time her self-esteem shall not be questioned for begging some one’s love towards her!!.
Superiority complex and inferiority complex, both are same only in a single coin but placed back to back in position. One who poses herself superior, feels inwardly that she is inferior to others, but acting in the other way!
Solution is…if you can find out a good psychologist who knows hypnotherapy very well, who only can help her to go in to her sub conscious mind and eliminate some unwanted datas imprinted in the past and in turn can implant some positive suggestions permanently inside her inner mind.